DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE offered to help my daughter when her baby is born next month, but she wants me to go and stay in a hotel or bed and breakfast nearby, rather than in their house.
I thought her reaction was because she’s worried I’d be kept up at night with the baby crying, but she said her husband has to go to work early and needs the spare room.
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My daughter is 35 and I am 58. I’m so hurt.
I stayed with her for three weeks after my grandson was born four years ago but now it seems she doesn’t want my help any more.
I don’t know why.
Have I upset her?
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DEIDRE SAYS: No, I don’t think so. I assume she’s just being honest – her husband needs the spare bed – and she’s confident enough in the loving bond you share that she feels she can be frank.
She is also probably more confident now than with her first child so knows she can handle things at night.
I’m sure you’ll feel assured as you spend time with them all.
Aim to help her during the day, as she suggests, and then enjoy a peaceful night elsewhere.
It’s a win-win situation.